Saturday, March 31, 2007 '
trying ... im TRYING !
lolx ... wen to the wat wat auditiourm
AGAIN its was dead bored ....
yaa wake up soo early end up the stupit teacher came
VERI late ... zzz
yaa was freaking sleepy ....
den the bus was dead bored too ! zzz trumpet so quiet these days ... i duno wat can i help >< when i myself was so negative bout my life == ... yaya den lydat lydat pass the time to the AUDITOURM ...
sheehs went 2nd time ... same thing ... slept while concert ... cannot tahan ... day dreaming every min even now ... i jus hate my stupit attitude , life or wateva things ... its jus sux ... imperfect ...
- kana 1 round by hasanah - bleahx >.<
yea yea ... suddenly play until half ... i came thinking everything negative ... sheehs was freaking tired
- MENTALLY ... was thinking why everything could nt be perfect ... why mus be imperfect for me ... my life ... fren everything ... i reali veri tired le ... ya ... few drops of tears drop during concert ... no one see ...
ya ... at bus back ... tats where i lost control ... was ok actually ... look out at the haven.build.finish.building lolx ... den nad say me emo den ... den ... look at her look at me still nothing ... den suddenly freaking sad ... eye became watery ... den she LOOK AT ME AGAIN ... tats where all rushed outed ... damn sad !!!!! T_T ...
yesh ... i duno ya ... forgotten hu came to dun.make.me.sad word ... ya ... i only remember
zakiah - my MEEYOO partner ! xDDD
hasanah - the UGLY one >.<
nadia - future SL xPP
victor - EX Sl hehe >.<
melisa - ya ... tat indian gurl whaha
lasty nigel ... omg he got stead ! n i dun hav T_T
sheehs ... cried alot ... say alot aso ... freaking sad .. heart aso pain !!! damn pain feel like plucking it out ... n everything will end ... jus end ... end my stupit life tat i dun even know ppl care anort ...
ya ... anyway after the bus reached and awhile more ... i somehow recoved frm the crying ... sheehs ... i hate crying for my whole life !
ended the post ... - sadded -
Friday, March 30, 2007 '
a failure ...
well ... came to post for no reason ... ya sadded
these days ... yesh reali sux ... ya think alot things ... smthing suddenly stuck me tat ... im jus a stupit attn seeker by emoing ...
den think think think ... maybe it could be lydat ... eveytime ... i sad sad den i dun tok tok ... den some ppl will come de la ... den after tat ppl tok to me i somehow duno why happi lydat ... maybe im jus a fcking attn seeker like my fren said ...
-----
anyway 2day gort band ... marching hard ... yaa ... on tat moment ... i jus tot tat ... i felt reali damn useless ... i think tat its was me tat saboed the whole section to march all the way ... i felt damn piss ... den ... i aso duno ... maybe i a stupit person in the band ... a useless thing tat will do nothing but saboing my section or the whole band ... i duno ... i jus duno !!!!
yaa den music ... like kf said ... my playing got wind wind lydat so fuckin nt nice ... den i kept thinking again ... den think think think ... maybe i reali useless in the band ... music aso nt gd marching aso nt gd ... somemore sec 1 already come and so much ... sure can take over my place ... anyway i no place at all ... a person like me ... so stupit dumb fat n ugly ... wifout me the band can do better ... ya ... all the negative thought came back ... maybe i shuld ... quit band ?
Thursday, March 29, 2007 '
the stupit life
yaya watever u say me i DUN CARE please see this 2 word - DUN CARE - ...
i dun care anything anymore ... NOTHING in the world worth me to care for dem ...
yaya u all may say im stupit ... slashing myself ... BUT i tell u ...
I GOT NO ONE TO TRUST ... NO ONE TO TRUST TO TALK BOUT IT
My old problem may be solved ... but new thing cre8ed in my small life ...
i dun even know is there any problem or im jus imagine myself ...
anyway ...
i dun ever trust any1 anymore frm now onwards ... no matter how much u force me to say ...
i will never say ....
my life changed ... everything change all around me ... i jus wanna turn back the
stupit time and do smthing that i always wanted to do ...
but it is too late ... jus too late ...
- nothing in this world is worth me to care -
Friday, March 23, 2007 '
...
WATS WORNG WIF MEE !!! I KEEP DAYDREAMING STARING INTO NOWHERE ... LOST CONCENTRATION ... KEEP EMOING ... AND WANTING TO SLASH MYSELF .... I CANT CONTROL !!! FUCK !!! I DUN WAN TO DO THIS ... I DUN WAN !!!
Monday, March 19, 2007 '
zzz
i duno la ... duno wat happen to me ... veri sux lor ... for no reason slash myself ... shh ! xPP nvm i say say lor i dun care liao ...
ahhh ! i reali hate myself ... i feel tat im so ... so ... USELESS ... yar ... the word USELESS ... suit me ....
i duno la ... i feel so small i dun feel like doin anything ... ANYTHING !
argh can u all jus giv up on me ? GIV UP !
Sunday, March 18, 2007 '
...
argh !!!!!!! i reali hate my parent ... so irriating ... fuck ... even now when i typing dey aso damn kapo ... wa lao feel like running away from this stupit home ... i reali cannot stand dem ... so ma fan ... do this abit nag nag nag ... when will dey ever stop !!?!?!?!?!??!
freak of if i dun like me .... damn u
Saturday, March 17, 2007 '
... wth
damn i didnt die ... wa lao ... sux man ... i don wan concern from u all !!! can u all jus leave me alone to death ... im jus a useless bum in this dumb world ... DUMB WORLD ! jus leave me alone ... CAN ANORT ??? I HATE MYSELF LA !
Wednesday, March 14, 2007 '
haha maybe this is my last post
haha ... i duno la ... i reali duno everything ...
why must this stupit world have hatered ... the backstabbers ... pain everything ...
i reali have enough le ...
ENOUGH !
i cannot tahan le ...
now sho late le ...
i think nobody will see ...
well den i jus say lor ...
im goin to die ... i wanna to die ... DIE DIE DIE ... 2MORO ! EVERYTHING WILL END !
END END END ! i'll jus end my this toopit life tat nobody cares ... NOBODY CARES !
>this is maybe my last post ... <
wish me luk to the end of everything ! =]
if i 2moro nvr die ...
i duno wat to say anymore ...
i duno i duno ... i duno EVERYTHING ! ARGH!
Monday, March 12, 2007 '
SRY !
firstly ... i wan to say sry tat the trumpetS tat called me >< my handphone was nort wif me ! >< !!!!! T.T dun blame me ...
secondly ... sry hasanah that i did nt go band ... i was losted ! n found n trapped by my frenZ !
thirdly ... i will start my day !
haha ... ya wake @ 8 ... sheehs finding fren block den LOST in the middle of nowhere ... --> shark-- > __/|__ \(>.<)/ -- yelp ! help !
yaya den bla bla ... losted ... founded ... trapped ! by fren la of course ... dun let me go ! 2 gurl leh one boi ! wa lao unfair ! anyway den force me into the stupit mrt n go to the toopit MRT to little indIA ~ wahahaaa at first cant stand that stupit smell ... almost vomited ! bleahx ! ya ... den takle pic here n dere *click*click* lol nice leh the clothes ... haha dun wan post pic here ... find our math blog lor ! woots hehe ... ya den still forgetting my handphone ... lolx ... yaa den go chinAtOwN ! yaa the toopit mususm so ex lor ... damn n aso cannot take pic ... ya den click here n dere wahahah gort zilian aso xDDDD err den ya walk until my leg break ... worst den marching >< nvr sat down the whole day T.T
haha den 6++ go home lor ... den suddenly remember my phone as i wan call my mother ! sheehs den found out tat so many ppl miss mi =] !
xDDDDD
i'll end my post here !
Saturday, March 10, 2007 '
...
peh yi feng ar peh yi feng ar ... i dunch care wateva u think liao lor ... idiot make me angry ! =P
I OFFICALLY ANNOUNCE THAT
PEH YI FENG SUX TO THE FREAKING CORE !
lolx i lame ... but well its the fact that he sux =P
Thursday, March 08, 2007 '
HAPPY !
woots everything >> OVER <<
im happy now !
promise everyone that i wont hurt myself n be happy ! =]
didnt knew so much ppl cared bout me once
woots ~
im a happy boi now !
> cutting fingernails now =X <
Sunday, March 04, 2007 '
...
well i decided to poison myself to death =] hehe ... drink poison ! rawk man ...
any sweet - deadly - cheap chemical to introduce ?
maybe i drink washing detergent =D
'
...
sad ... confused emotion ... this sux man !
duno whether to laugh or to cry ... sad or happy ... or the most ... live or to die