Yes.
This post is all about my life till now.
I met Jeremiah and Daryl.
Cool people.
But i changed.
Initially i always "wore" a "protective armor" around me.
To prevent people from invading my life.
Only reaching the fake smile of me. Nothing else.
It was Daryl who started stripping it off.
I loved him. Alot.
The first person i can truly say i really love him.
At first he loved me too? i guess
then when i started to really open up, which i did not do to anyone for the past 17 years of my life.
HE LEFT. just like that. *POOF* gone.
The feeling is like half naked on the street, everybody staring at you.
One word to describe. Horrible.
So horrible that i cannot stand it. i accidentally spill out the secret to my class.
Even to those i didnt want them to know about it.
Here comes Jeremiah.
I really thought we could be best friend forever. Literally.
After getting dump, he was always there.
Is like, im still half naked on the street, but he is there to protect me.
I feel so safe.
And so guillibly i also open up to him.
Until today, i swear it was one of my down-est days in my life.
He knew i needed someone to accompany me. He knew.
Although it may seemed small and immaculate to him, its a huge blow to me.
Its not that i never been though huge blows before, but i had the armor.
Which now i dont.
He left. For a date which he never even talk to in real life.
Sitting alone at coffee be an for 3 hours.
I was hoping/praying whatever, either of them to come.
None came.
Im all alone again. "Naked".
After stripping off the armor that is protecting me.
You all left.
At one moment im glad that none of you came.
Casue i can predict my downfall.
At another moment i felt so devastated
It made me realised all people are fair-weathered friends.
True friend? Impossible.
I decided.
No more depending on people anymore.
Im going to build up my armor again.
Stronger than ever.
No one can intrude it.
Whats the point when i have alot of "friends" but sad
than alone yet happy ?
I miss the old days. Alone yet happy.
Although i admit the happiest days were hanging out with jeremiah and daryl.
But it was short lived.
Lets pray i can rebuild my armor as soon as possible.