a failure ...
well ... came to post for no reason ... ya sadded
these days ... yesh reali sux ... ya think alot things ... smthing suddenly stuck me tat ... im jus a stupit attn seeker by emoing ...
den think think think ... maybe it could be lydat ... eveytime ... i sad sad den i dun tok tok ... den some ppl will come de la ... den after tat ppl tok to me i somehow duno why happi lydat ... maybe im jus a fcking attn seeker like my fren said ...
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anyway 2day gort band ... marching hard ... yaa ... on tat moment ... i jus tot tat ... i felt reali damn useless ... i think tat its was me tat saboed the whole section to march all the way ... i felt damn piss ... den ... i aso duno ... maybe i a stupit person in the band ... a useless thing tat will do nothing but saboing my section or the whole band ... i duno ... i jus duno !!!!
yaa den music ... like kf said ... my playing got wind wind lydat so fuckin nt nice ... den i kept thinking again ... den think think think ... maybe i reali useless in the band ... music aso nt gd marching aso nt gd ... somemore sec 1 already come and so much ... sure can take over my place ... anyway i no place at all ... a person like me ... so stupit dumb fat n ugly ... wifout me the band can do better ... ya ... all the negative thought came back ... maybe i shuld ... quit band ?